Friday Thoughts by the Fire: #82
Live outside the lines
Be the odd one out, but voluntarily.
It’s okay to be the 1 or 2 percent of people that don’t do something. In fact it takes courage to be that.
For people that don’t know my mom, sometimes I describe her character as the person that will stand painfully alone if she believes that what she’s standing for is right.
Growing up I’ve watched her carve paths that go against the grain of the majority vote. At times it has pitted her up against people, institutions, school systems — you name it.
She’s never cared about the corrupt politics of any system. She’s never cared what the majority of people are doing to appease wherever the money is coming in. You can leave the exclusive clubs and groups at home. They don’t impress her, and she’s never wanted in.
She is 1 of 1.
I think her secret is that she thrives in those places. It inspires me to put myself there personally and professionally as well.
Of course I’m still practicing, but I find myself coloring outside the lines more often lately. I’m not a fan of red tape if it gets in the way of logical reasoning, especially when it doesn’t benefit anyone other than boosting the ego of the person enforcing the “red tape”.
In my journal, there exists a spot to write the date on every page. 3 lines, separated by slashes in between. I always write the date to the left, leaving the designated lines blank.
This would absolutely drive the OCDers nuts. I do it for a very purposeful reason, though.
It serves as an incremental reminder to myself that I don’t have to do what 99% of people do. I can create. I can carve something new.
It reminds me that the safety of what everyone else is doing doesn’t always yield the best results or isn’t always the right way. It motivates me to keep in mind that we are creatures of habit, persuaded to sink into a routine and simply never leave it. Just because.
We can make new pathways if we’re willing to lead. This doesn’t mean you have to stand in front of a group of people and give an inspiring speech. You can lead in various ways; by example being one of them.
To be a good leader, you usually need to do 3 things well. You need to be empathetic, you need to be vulnerable, and you need to be willing to accept failure as part of the process.
Being too prideful or too swayed by opinions of other people will only sidetrack progress. It’ll keep us busy with the noise instead of coloring outside the lines and being okay with criticism.
Being afraid of failure will hold us in place, paralyzed by our fear of “looking dumb”.
I heard something really interesting on a podcast the other day. The famous author, Mel Robbins, was talking on Simon Sinek’s podcast about motivation. the brand Nike has one of the most famous taglines ever. Just Do It.
Mel asked Simon what he thought was the most important word in Nike’s tagline. Simon responded, “Do”. She said, “No, it is the just”.
She explained that the Just appeals to our humanity. It is the moment of self-doubt that we experience in any situation where we have to step out of our comfort zone. Just do it.
To me, it says do it afraid. Do it embarrassed. Do it against all odds. Do it against the grain. If everybody else is not going to do it, do it anyway. Whatever is up against you, whatever you’re facing, find a way to do it.
Just do it.
You don’t have to be like everybody else. Not to be depressing, but in the grand scheme of things, your name will be completely forgotten within a few generations anyway.
Who cares where you’re “supposed to” write the date. Be unapologetically you. Don’t be sorry for looking dumb. Be sorry for not trying because you were scared to look dumb. Be sorry for doing what everybody else is doing just to blend in.
Be sorry for being unoriginal when you know you possess something greater than that. Be sorry for not getting help when you need it. For not asking another question when you don’t know. For not sharing your special qualities with the world.
Most importantly, don’t be sorry for growing through failure because you stepped out when everyone else thought you should stay put. Just keep doing it.