In his song Hurt, (originally written by Nine Inch Nails) Johnny Cash takes us through a story of pain, addiction, and regret. He sings about these themes recycling. Like a nightmare that never ends.
An illustration of a person using drugs and the web of thoughts that entangle them. At first there is reasoning. A trying to forget, trying to numb the pain, and ultimately a willful choice to hurt himself. Again.
I think it’s a dark rendition of the personal prisons we find ourselves in as people. We all hurt ourselves, maybe not always intentionally. We might even mean well.
But the moments within seem to be intentionally carried out, nonetheless. The consequences that follow can force us back into that prison. It’s cold and lonely, but familiar.
That prison cell is easier to handle than having to face criticism and judgment from the outside world.
Some people would actually rather choose depression and loneliness over standing at a podium where they end up answering questions from others that simply aren’t interested in understanding their choices.
The critics are often ready with their gavels to heave whatever sentence they can upon a struggling person.
It’s easier to hurt. So they cut themselves, or get drunk again. They find a way to medicate the pain with a temporary numbing that ultimately results in more pain. It’s familiar. It feels safe. It's private.
No matter how dangerous it might seem to others. How reckless and stupid. How irresponsible. It is their safest place. Their place of non-judgment. Their coping.
People in general are as desperate to be understood as they are to find a place like that personal prison where they cannot be reached by anyone. I think they can handle hurting in that space better than showing off their pain in the open.
None of us like to explain ourselves. Not from a misunderstood position. And certainly not to people who care more about watching us burn than they do about keeping us upright.
So when people show their faults, are they not worthy of being understood? Or do they owe us an explanation first? That must be it.
They should go before a judge and face the repercussions that follow their unforgivable actions. While the rest of us sit there throwing spit-balls from the back of the class. We’ll thank God we’re not as bad as those people.
But I think they’d rather avoid the public scrutiny altogether. So they’ll retreat to their personal prison, back to where they can hurt in peace. Where they’re safe. It’s easier to try to numb it all away than to justify a position that nobody cares to sympathize with.
How wonderful would it be if someone just reached down into that prison cell and sat with them in their pain? I think it takes a special person to enter someone else’s prison and make them feel like they aren’t alone. Like the surroundings are not unusual.
Like they understand.
We need those people more than ever right now. We need gentle souls that can sit in the darkness with someone, while they sort out all their weaknesses. All the pain and hurt laid out only to be accepted by another kind spirit who just wants to help.
A friend. A confidant. A guardian.
What a wonderful thing to be.