“What am I freaking out about today?”
I saw a journal prompt recently with that exact question. I thought about it. A prompt that forced me to look internally and actually be honest about what I see.
There’s something to our society about pretending we’re good. We play it cool with a lot of things. One of my running jokes is that we rarely answer with anything other than “Good!” when asked how we’re doing. Regardless of how we're actually doing.
It’s almost a courtesy, asking someone “How’s it goin?” We never actually expect them to be honest, we just want to acknowledge their presence and move on.
It wouldn’t be the time or place to dump our current list of issues in someone else’s lap, nor would we want to provide therapy to somebody who is just passing by.
But all the pretending takes a toll. Sometimes we need a prompt, or a real question from someone we trust — Are you okay?
And sometimes we need to just be honest with ourselves and write it down, or maybe admit something out loud in the midst of an open conversation.
There’s a vulnerability there that not a lot of people are comfortable with. Let’s face it, a lot of us don’t have the time to sit there, meditate, and reflect on our current life standing. We don't take the time to really know ourselves.
Like the saying — life happens when you’re busy making other plans — we seem to always keep ourselves busy by making other plans.
The truth is we run into buzz saws in life. Things that stop us in our tracks, make us question our decisions, or downright split us in half.
But if we’re never asked what we’re freaking out about, we might just not think about it. If we never stop to check in with ourselves, we might just coast. Coasting is easier. It’s less intrusive and non-confrontational. It takes vulnerability to answer that question. And sometimes we don’t have the energy for vulnerability.
Maybe we’re freaking out over the fact that we don’t actually have someone to ask us that question. That’s when journaling comes in handy. Write it down. Sometimes bleeding words on a page is what you need to get through another day.
“Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about”
Some people just need to know they aren’t alone. Whatever the case, the first step is being able to look inside and actually point out what's buried there.
At times we have to sit in pain and live in it for a while. We have to wait in the anxiety, insecurity, and the messes made — both by us and others. It's part of existence, part of being human. But there's beauty in resiliency.
In the process of purifying silver, a silversmith has to hold it to the hottest part of the fire, burning away the impurities in order to perfect it. It must go through this process of extreme heat and extreme stress before it can become refined silver.
It feels like life is holding us to the fire sometimes. It's hard to feel like we're being refined in that process, rather we feel broken. But like calluses on a hand, we're stronger and more protected on the other side of it.
So let this be the prompt that meets you where you are. Use pen and paper, a notebook in your phone, or say it out loud to an empty room if you have to.
What are you freaking out about today?