I have to preface this by saying I'm not here for a light-hearted pep talk. I have very little ability to lighten the blow on this topic. And I really don't want to talk about it but I feel like it's necessary.
I've realized that I've been numbing myself to school shootings. And I'm sorry if this is just another post among the hundred other ones you've already seen this week. If you choose not to read—totally get it.
I'm also sorry if you're ready to move on from the subject. I'm not. I can promise I'm not going to get political or bring my personal solutions to the table. But I will encourage you to give yourself a voice and write your local representative.
The fact is three 9 year old kids are dead. Three school staff that were nearing retirement, and possibly had grandkids of their own, are dead. A little shocking to read, I know. As it should be. We can't use sensitive words about this stuff. We've become a society where kids die because of senseless violence.
I thought I was doing the best thing by pushing this tragedy out of my head. It's how I deal with other people's trauma at work. I hear about horror stories a lot and I've somewhat trained myself to turn off the emotional switch. It's not because I don't care. It's so that I can be effective at my job.
My wife helped me realize I can't turn the switch off this time. I've let myself feel the hurt. Often times I avoid thinking about my own children attending a school that gets attacked. But I let myself imagine it this time. And it's driven me to dark thoughts.
There are people living in that dark right now. Whole communities need healing after something like this. Years of therapy will be poured into some of the children and staff that have survived it. Some families have been completely changed forever.
And I realize we can't internalize every tragedy everywhere. It would become overwhelming. Natural disasters, starvation, child abuse, cancer — we can't sit here ruminating on all of it. We have to pick our spots. So I've picked this one.
There are parents and grandparents and sons and daughters and whole families whose lives are basically ruined. And if it was me, mine would be too.
The biggest question I've been asking myself over the last week is how did we get here? Dead children have become the emotional toll of a sick society. Why?
We've conquered world wars. We've taken down dictators. We've gotten through some rough patches in history. So how did we get to a place where we're killing kids?
People are getting numb. And I’ve realized recently that isn't the answer for me anymore. It'll suck to sit here and stew in it, mourning the victims in my own way. In a few weeks I'll move on though.
But the parents of these kids won't. Their friends won't. Their grandparents and the rest of their families won't simply just move on. Uvalde seems like a distant memory already, because it wasn't my community. It wasn't my family.
And I know we like to sit in the back of the class and just spit-ball our ideas to the front like we're experts. We pretend like our simple “solution” is the best one. Eventually we'll stop arguing for a while and we'll convince ourselves that the last one was indeed the last one. Until the next one.
I'm angry. And my anger doesn't mean a thing to the moms or dads that have to figure out how to move on without their 9 year old. They have to forcibly pick up the pieces and just find a way through it while the rest of us get to utter something like, “this world is crazy” and go back to sipping our coffee and scrolling the internet.
Because that's what we do now. We sit in our own comfort and just count on evil never knocking on our door. Like we're somehow immune from such a catastrophe. “It won't happen to us”.
Nonetheless, it's out there. And that evil is capable of looking a child in the face and pulling the trigger.
Sorry if this is too morose today. It has to be. Otherwise none of us will do anything.
Write your representative. Even if you feel like nothing will change, give your words a chance. Say whatever you have to — we can't afford to lose anymore children.
“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing”
Good push. It’s almost commonplace — but not in other countries. It doesn’t have to be this way, so why is it?
I have my own opinions and our representatives is the perfect place to share them!