The other day my daughter was watching a Spiderman cartoon that she likes. My wife remarked how cool it would be to be able to swing around a city with a web shooter.
The thing that came to my mind right away was, what if a superhero’s super- power was not their greatest strength?
I immediately thought about how fearless you would have to be. How I'd be worried about falling from such a height if I were swinging on a web or flying around.
I thought about all the confrontation I would have to get into. All the danger I would encounter.
What if a superhero was too afraid to fight?
Regret is often referred to as one of the biggest fears for people. When they look back at the end of their life, they become insecure about what feelings they'll have to confront.
What things did they avoid out of fear? What abilities did they ignore because they didn't feel like pressing in when it got difficult?
In a way, that's life. That's the dance in which we partake. We're measuring risk and value and quality of life and we have all these decisions to make about what to do with our lives. Which commitments do we dive into? Which ones do we stop?
Fortunately we're not superheros with supernatural abilities. We don't have that pressure to be fearless. Instead we're human. We're going to do things when we're afraid. We still have to confront the demons, whatever they are.
But we do have certain talents and abilities. Every one of us. What if we're too afraid to use them?
I remember the first time giving therapy to a client and feeling like a complete imposter. The anxiety of the moment had me thinking I couldn't do it.
But I was focused on my deficits instead of my strengths. I thought I could make an impact in this person's life and instead they left the office in the same shape they arrived. I was discouraged to say the least.
I quickly realized that I can't make a lifetime of issues go away in 45 minutes. I also realized that crashing and burning sometimes comes with the territory.
Spiderman can't possibly swing around on those webs without falling once in a while.
But the threat of the fall should never cancel out all those other great attributes. The capability shouldn't be capped by failure.
I'm finding out more in life that failure is usually the beginning of something, not the end. So the falls will come. There's no doubt about it.
The only real equation to our success is the ability to keep going regardless of a stumble. We can't let the falls interrupt everything we have to offer.
Omg, this is me right now. I have the abilities necessary to reach my goals but I am so afraid of coming slightly short of what’s necessary and not making it. In order to jump, you have to risk falling. 😩 its so scary to fall and at the same time its scary no to have tried at all.