There's a song I've been listening to more often recently called Innocence by the band NEEDTOBREATHE.
It’s good. The perspective in their songs is relatable to me. But this song in particular resonates well. The guy actually wrote it about his grandmother. And coincidentally, it reminds me of my grandmother.
She was such an innocent soul, and she stayed that way throughout her life despite living in the same world that exists today. Of course some of the corrupting things are more accessible because of the internet today, but nonetheless, my grandma Eileen held onto her innocence.
This song has lyrics that just really capture some of her perspectives—
She knows that this life is nothing but a crack in the ground.
I look at our society now and I just see us wading more and more into uncomfortable waters.
You can't really watch a show on Netflix anymore without some sort of nudity or awful language scattered among the content. It's true. I think about my grandma and I really believe she was cut from a different cloth. She never would've found herself indulging in any of this stuff.
She would never tell you that she was better than anybody. She never would’ve thought it.
I recall what she said to me when she was leaving my wedding. She was saying goodbye and I leaned in to give her a hug. As she clenched my side she told me she loved me and whispered, “You be good, okay?”
I looked at her and chuckled and reassured her that I would. She looked me in the eye, smiled and said, “You know what I mean when I say that, don't ya?”
She was talking about alcohol. My grandma didn't want me to get drunk. To her, celebration didn't have to involve getting hammered and shouting along to the lyrics of Sweet Caroline.
Innocent? Yes. Naïve? Far from it. She understood the way of the world, but she was unwavering in her hope for humanity.
I loved that about her. She stood her ground and knew exactly who she was. And who she was created to be. Regardless of societal influence. Oh what social media has drugged us into believing we need.
I understand she wasn't perfect. Being her grandson, I know I saw a very specific side of her. A motherly side, a gentle spirit. I saw kindness in my grandmother.
It's a type of kindness that I don't see much of anymore. And it makes me sad. We're moving farther away from clinging to innocence. I watch my kids and I see that glow, and it's refreshing.
Somehow my grandma sustained that glow. Somehow she separated herself. I know a big part of that was her faith. The same faith that I share. It's inspiring. It's something that always motivates me to be better—when I think of her.
Sometimes her spirit rides the night. When I'm down, I feel her praying over me.
She prayed for everybody. That isn't hyperbole. I would bet my house that she prayed for me every day.
Through the bad and the good, she had a faith that was always watching over me. She's such a comforting thought now. I feel a presence when I think of her.
I miss the heck out of her. And her innocence. The world needs it more than ever. The pure soul is lacking.
Innocence is a place to let your inner-kid thrive. To let your dreams and hopes and faith run fast and free.
She was a warrior. One of God's soldiers. She was a battle-tested, good perspective holdin’, hit you in the butt with a wooden spoon kinda woman. A true God-fearing soul.
All she wanted to do was see the good in people. People like you and me.
I teared up reading this — you made her come to life and you reminded me of what a blessing she was and is. We should encourage the “Eileen” within us.
I'm taking a minute to get myself together after reading this, Eric. Taking a minute to reflect, hear her voice and remember what a wise woman she was.
Well done, Eric.