When I was 20 years old I started working at a vocational rehab center for adults with disabilities. I was a “job coach” of sorts.
One of my supervisors at the time was giving me tips on productivity. She laughingly said, “I just carry a clipboard around with me everywhere, that way everyone always thinks I’m busy working!”
She then explained the importance of perception. Although perception is not reality, perception matters. If someone perceives that you are not working, that becomes their reality.
I used to think that perception didn’t mean anything in the face of truth. After all, truth is objective. Perception is a subjective reality.
I may have been a little naïve.
Perception matters more than we think it does. As the years went on I realized that objective truth is rarely seen by everyone all at once. There are certain truths that are undeniable to most people. But they are becoming fewer.
For example, if a car is a certain color, anyone who isn’t color blind could basically agree on the color of that car.
But colors also have shades. And when you start mixing the greens and blues, perception of the color starts to change.
Life is full of perception. How you are perceived likely determines important things about you. Your reputation is created by your actions. Your actions mold your character. Your character is who you are. It's how people categorize you.
Whether or not you believe you're a good person, you'll be perceived a certain way if you don't treat people well.
This is how perception shapes reality.
But we have a choice every day. In fact it's estimated that the average adult makes more than 30,000 decisions daily.
Those decisions mold perception. That perception becomes reality.
We have to be careful of the person we're creating in others’ minds.
I'm a big proponent of not trying to please everyone or not caring what people think. But perception is not about what people think. It's about what people know. Or at least what they think they know.
And what a person thinks about you is none of your business. But what a person knows about you is the information you've given them.
We're all giving out information daily. We go through dozens of interactions. These encounters—no matter how big or small—determine who we are communicating ourselves to be.
It all adds to the perception of our character.
You can believe that you have a great work ethic. But if you work part time and play video games all day, you haven't given yourself a chance to prove it.
You might think you're nice. But if your spare time consists of pointing fingers and trolling people online, perception might disagree.
We have to be aware of what parts of us we’re showing to the outer world.
It’s also healthy to challenge our own perceptions about other people. Who gives you a sour taste in your mouth and why?
Is it something they said or did years ago that you can’t seem to bury? Or is it a consistent slow burn that has worn you down over time?
Being aware of perception doesn’t mean that we’re constantly worrying about what other people are thinking. It means that we’re concerned about the way we’re interacting with the world around us.
This can help us become a better communicator, and in turn, develop healthier relationships.
Wonderful fire thoughts today!