I think we get caught up in our own comfort sometimes.
What I mean is that life gets comfortable and we stop trying new things, we stop traveling, going new places, challenging ourselves, etc.
But I’m here to talk about a different concept. A different mindset. One that I think is necessary.
I try to live life with the understanding that I’m going to be uncomfortable or afraid sometimes, and that I need to just do it anyway.
That concept is really hard to grasp and put into practice, though.
The truth is that if you‘re never able to understand that you are going to have to just do things afraid sometimes, you will more than likely lack growth in certain areas.
I’ve heard people tell me that they see “being afraid” as a sign. “Well, it must mean I’m not destined to do it, because I can’t. I’m afraid. And I think that fear is there for good reason”.
No. It’s not.
You have to accept fear as being part of the process if you want to accomplish anything worthwhile.
How do you do it, though? How do you actually ignore the fear, the nerves, the anxiety, and just do it afraid?
Die to your nerves.
This sounds a bit simplified at first, but you truly have to understand that your nerves are just going to follow you everywhere, into everything.
But plenty of people have accomplished crazy feats because of their “fight or flight” response.
Such feats include stories that involve people lifting cars to rescue a trapped individual. Their adrenaline kicked in during the stress of the moment and they were able to accomplish a seemingly impossible task.
My point isn’t that you’ll perform miracles because of your anxiety.
My point is that your anxiety will be a part of the process, whether you like it or not.
You’re going to take your fear into that presentation at work, or job interview, or college class. You’re going to be afraid of standing up in front of an assembly of people, or maybe you’re scared of taking that big test.
Whatever it is —(insert stressful moment)— you eventually have to do it.
You’re absolutely afraid of asking that girl out, but you’re going to do it afraid, or you aren’t going to do it at all.
Fear is apart of the process. It has integrated itself into your plans, but it will not dictate the outcome unless you allow it to.
Isn’t that refreshing to know? Sure, you’ll be afraid, but you don’t have to let that fear make the decisions for you.
You still have the choice of whether or not you’re going to
ask her/him out for a drink
quit a job
get through the interview
put your best work out there for the world to see
show up
You have an opportunity.
You have a choice and a chance. Is there really anything else you could ask for in this life?
Your life is made up of choices. You’re going to be uncomfortable. Your educators, your bosses, your peers and friends and family, are all going to ask something of you at one point or another.
All of these people from all different facets are going to pull you out of your comfort zone and they’ll probably force you into a room with your fears.
At some point or another, you will need to just do it afraid.
Life is full of difficult circumstances and tough situations that you’ll continuously navigate.
I’ve had to speak at two of my grandparents’ funerals up to this point.
Both times I was afraid. Both times I was nervous — fearful of standing up on a platform and dealing with the pressure of sharing something meaningful about the people I love in front of a room that was dealing with loss in their own way.
It was uncomfortable, scary, and I was afraid. I could’ve said no. I could’ve denied the opportunity.
I tried to embrace those nerves. I recognized that nobody in the room was going to judge me for screwing up a sentence.
What I realized in that moment was it’s not about me.
We go into every situation in our life only able to look through our own lens. Naturally, we react to the way that every situation makes us feel personally, and then assume that everyone is looking at the scenario through our specific lens.
But in these circumstances, it isn’t solely about how we feel.
You’ve probably heard the old joke that you need to picture the audience in their underwear, or use some other tactic to feel comfortable in those moments of fear.
The truth is that everybody is in their underwear, all the time.
They’re all looking at the world through their own personal lens, with all of their own personal fears.
Most of your fears come from other people’s perspectives and what they are going to think about you.
The trick is to realize that most of their fears are coming from what you might think of them, too.
It’s a weird type of tug-of-war.
You contribute to the anxiety of others. They contribute to yours.
Once you recognize that, you can overcome it.
You can take that realization into whatever challenge that faces you, and you can embrace those nerves.
Embrace the way that fear motivates you, instead of cowering from the way it cripples you.
Fear is always going to be apart of the process, and that’s okay.
“Sometimes fear does not subside and one must choose to do it afraid”
-Elisabeth Elliot
Loved this! This is something I have been reflecting on lately, how much joy I have been forfeiting in order to avoid fear. The truth is there is a lot of joy behind the things we fear. I recently read "everything that makes you fear is teaching you to have courage".
I laugh because I have been reflecting lately on how I think I have had to face every one of my greatest fears. It is always liberating when I do. What is something scary? Because we are scared of it. Otherwise, it just is...and it may not even be what we thought it was from our scared perspective!